We have all had experience with that inner drama queen or king that constantly plays in our minds, saying things like: ‘I am not attractive or smart enough’ or ‘Why would anybody like me?’ The theme of having this ‘unstoppable’ negative inner voice has come up a lot in my workshops and with some of my clients. Many people want to know how they can make it stop or go away, but in reality wishing it away is not the key to making you feel better.
There’s this analogy often used in the world of personal development to help people better understand and minimize or even heal this crappy inner voice- the voice I like to call my inner drama queen. Imagine this voice as a child that needs to be comforted and told that everything is going to be okay. If you picture this voice as a child, would you yell, scream or get frustrated with her or him? Not likely. If a child came up to you on a playground and said that the other children don’t think they’re pretty or smart enough, how would you respond? Likely you wouldn’t say, ‘You always say this or do this and you’re not pretty or smart enough!’. Unfortunately, more times than not, this is how we sometimes respond to ourselves.
Next time you feel down and start to hear this negative inner voice, try respond to it as if it were a child. Tell her/him that it’s okay and find a way to comfort and reassure the child in a positive way. You can add that it’s okay to make mistakes so just keep going and don’t beat yourself up. These days many of us beat ourselves up – one thought can trigger a whole spiral of internal torture. The tool of using a child as a representative of your inner voice creates some healthy space and perspective between you and this inner drama queen or king. If you imagine this voice as a child, it’s simpler to comfort and nurture this part of you. The more you do this, the less loud this voice becomes. If a child came up to you screaming, you wouldn’t scream back to console the child – you would most likely hold, comfort and soothe the child. So, instead of screaming or shouting down this inner voice, find a way to encourage and uplift this voice in order to cut any possibility of escalating self- torture.
Good-Luck! Check out when my next Feeling Salty workshops are to step into your best self and live the life you dream of!